Rhodes Rangers

For heightened reading experience, please use the following link for the purposes of underscore http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iteRKvRKFA

6.20am – Standing  in the front of the mirror looking resplendent in latest bike porn purchase from www.ridemeallthewaytotheoffice.com “Yes Bullet, you still got it.”

6.26am – Kisso. First to arrive. Then there was one.

6.30am – Phantom arrives debonair as always styled by Santini (plug for sponsor). Fails to notice bike porn. Humph. Then there were 2.

6.33am – B2B brethren arrive and immediately threatened by ER’s in dashing kit. We head off.

6.35am – Kisso and Commenara lights. PD pulls up. No oil painting but always welcome on board. Then there were 3.

6.38am – Climb out of Brown’s Waterhole. Encounter Bucky trapped in winter wardrobe. Cutting a smooth euro line in Bucky Couture – alluring yet understated.  Then there were 4.

6.40am – Top of the Waterhole. Chippo awaits. Enigmatic. Cool and casual as always. How does that man look so good? Whispers of concern that he may return to sandals as the weather warms, God forbid. Then there were 5.

6.41am – First roundabout. Eric meets the Magnificents, limping on a loaner as he awaits insurance assessors. Gaudy in Orange (I think), I defer to his 5 days in a row commute. Legs burning with pain, cheeks flushing with self-consciousness as he espies Phantom’s pret-a-commute wear. The Benchmark. Then there were 6.

6.43am – Epping Road lights. Richard-on- Lynskey joins the party. Kinda punk, a bit retro, always cool. Lynskey cassette chatters merrily confirming our suspicion that if you’re making a lot of noise, then you must be having a good time. Then there were 7, hence the underscore.

6.50am – Blaxland Road lights. Browney arrives. Undermines allusion. Typical of a fixie. Riding and dressing to his own renegade tune, we look in in a mixture of awe, jealousy and (mild) disgust. Then there were 8.

6.51 – 7.49am – Rhoaming the Rhodes Rhanges and pondering:

• ·         SatNav’s absence – preparing for the long haul to Bowral tomorrow including a climb up the infamous Macquarie Pass (not bank).  We all have our own personal Everest; Satnav’s just happens to be near Wollongong. Never mind.

• BT freesocking his way into the office; footloose with a hint of odour.

• RTG taking the Captain’s route for an early Friday meeting demonstrating a clear lack of ability when it comes to foresight and planning

• Drastic and 52 heading off to the Masters event in Victoria. Our thoughts and best wishes are with you. We trust you will ride like men escaping a Freudian  analysis and look forward to yarns dripping with metaphor. Stay safe. God’s speed to you.

7.50am – Café Bullet. Only four survive – Phantom, Eric, Bucky, Humble Scribe. All bar Eric take positions on near side of table, looking fabulous though a little obvious. Eric curses his lack of strategy as study and sample period commences.

7.51am – Café Bullet. Mark passing fauna. Conversation ceases.

7.53am – Café Bullet. Mark passing fauna. Acknowledge the timeless appeal of British racing green (see Bucky).

7.51am – Café Bullet. Mark passing fauna. The Lord of Warrawee arrives, disrupting sightlines. Takes position on near side of the table. Go figure.

7.56am – Café Bullet. Mark passing fauna. Conversation ceases.

7.58am – Café Bullet. Mark passing fauna. A particularly good example. Phantom chokes on bacon and egg sanger. 

8.01am – Café Bullet. Mark passing fauna. Conversation ceases.

8.03am – Café Bullet. Mark passing fauna. Bucky sings the praises of Bircher muesli again.

8.05am – Café Bullet. Mark passing fauna. Conversation ceases.

8.17am – Depart Café Bullet. Sated and spent. Call goes up to re-convene at Groingate. “Here, here!” the resounding approval. Pats on back. Fond farewells. Bonded through shared experience. This surely is the commute of the week.

Usual departure 5.15pm SHB with or without socks.

Bullet (Le)